Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Always there - realistic parents

I have two awesome daughters. They're both in their 20s now, which means that I have survived mothering girls through their teens.

It was hard and fun and frustrating--and I'm so proud of the women they've become.

My girls - many years ago

Parenting is not easy. Most of us want to be good. We want to raise amazing, happy, healthy kids who will change the world (or their little corner of it.) Just when we think we have parenting figured out, another kid enters the family, and we learn that we know nothing. Again.

This is why I try to write realistic parents in my books. They're not all bad and not all good. They get things right and make mistakes. Some are more likable than others.

I will always give my main characters at least one parent who loves them and genuinely wants to be the best they can. That doesn't mean a parent without flaws; it means a parent with good intentions that don't always work out.

Here are some insights into my main characters' parents.

Whisper Falls - Mark's parents love and support him. His mother, Sherri, gets mixed reviews for how inconsistently she treats him. I actually loved writing her character. She's in a stage of life that is so hard for mothers of teens--trying to let go of their young adult while mourning their childhood and not being needed anymore.

I Wish - Lacey's mom is clinically depressed. Crystal wants to be a good mom, but her mental health isn't stable enough for her to succeed. Since depression doesn't solve itself quickly, it isn't until the book 3 that the reader begins to see signs that Crystal is slowly getting better.

Wishing for You - Kimberley's mother Teresa was an angel of patience and protectiveness in book 1. In book 2, readers can begin to see the cracks. Teresa has been Kimberley's "primary caregiver" for years, and it's exhausting. Teresa makes several slip-ups in this book, not because she doesn't care, but because Kimberley's life is growing more complicated, not less. And that is backwards for most teens.

The Possibility of Somewhere - Eden's healthiest parental relationship is with her stepmother. Marnie is as perfect as she can be, given that she's inherited (and wanted desperately) two kids from her husband's first (bad) marriage.  Eden's father, though, is almost impossible to like. Most people see him as a villain, and it's true that he does and says very bad things. But I don't think he's a thoroughly bad man. He's had only poor role models. He's a product of a world that is very limited, and he has no clue how to be a better person. I think America's current political climate is a good example of how decent people can have indecent attitudes.

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